Gin and Bitterness

Fandom: Cabin Pressure
Rating: G
Characters: Martin Crieff, Douglas Richardson, Arthur Shappey
Warnings: Really, really bad puns
Word Count: 337

General Summary: Gerty has a strange and unusual cargo. Things do not go as planned.

Author’s Note: Listen, back in December 2011, a buddy asked me to write a fic that incorporated a terrible pun. This was that fic. I'm sorry.


"What is in the hold, anyway?"

"Nothing!"

Arthur blinked. Never before had one of his inquiries provoked quite such a violent reaction in Martin. Even Douglas appeared slightly alarmed by his fellow pilot’s outburst.

"You see, Arthur," the older man began, "what’s in the hold is—"

"Shut up, Douglas." Martin snapped, and the older pilot shot him a look of mild irritation.

"What ever for, Martin?"

His jaw tensing, Martin spoke slowly and carefully. "Carolyn said explicitly that we are not to talk about what’s in the hold."